Life is a battle which no one has ever won but
those who fight it with wisdom live a bit longer on the battle field than those
who use other means. Remember, wisdom comes from God and nowhere else. Seek God’s
help if you really want to be a successful mediator. Mediation is needed always
because nobody is perfect. From the bible in Psalm 33:16-18 it is said “A king
does not because of his powerful army; a soldier does not triumph because of
his strength. War horses are useless for victory; their great strength cannot
save. The Lord watches over those who obey him and those who trust in his
constant love.” This means the presence of a powerful army will never resolve a
conflict unless God comes in. His presence will need people of integrity to
mediate. Are you good mediator?
As a mediator, your aim is to resolve
conflicts and this requires some basic skills which you should have in mind.
Below are thoughts you must keep in mind as you practice resolving conflicts:
Ø
Use words, not fist. Take pride in your ability
to use your mind instead of physical force to settle a disagreement
Ø
Take charge of the situation. Make the decision
to resolve the conflict peacefully .Do not satisfy the other person’s wish to
fight if that is what he or she seems to want. Do what you want to do, not what
others want you to want you to do.
Ø
Talk in a location where others will not
distract you or interfere with your efforts.
Ø
When you talk, take turns. Give other persons a
chance to speak, and then use active listening and keep an open mind.
Ø
Show respect in order to get respect back. If
the other person does not show you respect, set an example anyway.
Ø
Control your voice. Yelling provokes the other
person to yell. Staying calm shows strength and character.
Ø
Speak the truth .That is what you want hear, so
that is what you need to deliver.
Ø
Control your tongue. Name-calling and cursing
promote conflict rather than helping to settle it. Use “I” messages instead to
express your point of view.
Ø
Use body language effectively. Stand firm,
showing that you want to work peacefully and can handle the situation. Avoid standing
too close, which can be threatening. Make firm but friendly eye contacts.
Ø
Value your own safety. Although conflict
resolution strategies work in most situations, occasionally another person is
uncooperative and out of control. He or she may not have the skills that you
have or may not care. Some of these situations can be dangerous, especially
when weapons are involved. That is when you have to say to yourself, “my life
and well-being are worth more to me than winning this disagreement.” It takes a
stronger person to walk away from situations like these, but doing so makes you
the smarter one.
Applying the
above thoughts in a peaceful and isolated venue will lead to a successful resolution
of a conflict. Ensuring that justice is applied to the fullest leaves the
mediation team fully satisfied as well as those in conflict.
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