If two people don’t agree, they cannot be, walk or work together. It takes hard work backed by the spirit of discernment to choose a true friend out of the many people you come across in life. You will expect the best result if you personally know yourself; yes the friends you have are a true reflection of whom you are. The Bible makes this very clear” show me your friend and I will tell whom you are.” Your best friend is the one you had from childhood though environment and experiences bring change of behavior as time passes.
I am a lifestyle copywriter since 2016 focused on self- improvement. I realized many people, have out of ignorance or neglect avoided some of the simple rules that help us select whom to be a friend. They end up choosing the wrong persons reason why the relationship is short- lived, or at one point start living like a cat and a dog or like petrol and fire. I have written this article to help point out some ideas to consider before choosing a friend, problems encountered as a result of choosing the wrong person as well as solutions if you accidentally or stubbornly chose a wrong friend. I have also given some solutions from real life experiences to victims in such unfortunate relations in the name of friendship. My goal is to mend and reinforce as well as help friends about to part company to stay glued. Are you one of those who love to be with friends but hardly stay with one for as long as you would wish? Are you one of those who have been maltreated by friends until you are now considering going along life without one? No human being is an island. We are social beings always in the business of living together respecting each other’s opinion and personality in order to be connected and exploit all opportunities that come our way.
What I have written here and in many other write ups is to act as help to those who by ignorance , stubbornness, or neglect of other guides made the error of choosing the wrong ones as friends, and are now suffocating under the weight of strange thoughts, behaviors and actions. Most of you are now suffering from many health problems such as hypertension, diabetes, gastric ulcer, and mini madness. Others are permanently sad, moving and speaking alone, looking pale with dry lips and appearing old all the time. In this state of mind, you are not creative and highly unproductive especially when the friend is always around you. In order to avoid such friend who will devalue your life instead of improving it, do the following: > Make a character check by exchanging gifts and if possible, deliberately put the person in a difficult situation such as burrow money from him or her and watch his or her reaction after payment deadline. You know, people hate to be under difficult situations and if someone can persevere because of you, tick that one right as a friend in need. >Give him or her several attainable, and not for pay tasks or assignments, with a 50% margin in mind to evaluate to see if that person will reach your targeted rate. You can decide any assignment that suits your present state. You should space these tasks over a reasonable period, say six months or more without making him or her realized you are on a fact finding mission. Don’t be in haste as you may be discovered. Here you want to find out how truthful and reliable the friend to be is. > Do a background check of the friend? People come from different families with different characters. There are families where the great grand and grandparents were thieves, violent, liars, snobbish, proud,jealous, prostitutes ,lazy, selfish, cheats, kindhearted, lovely ,hardworking ,creative just to name a few. Most of these traits are inherited and manifested unconsciously. You need to verify to identify those who have inherited a large amount of such traits especially the negative ones and avoid them at all cost. Other smart fellows who discover they cannot manage such negative characters hide under the umbrella of men or women of God or call themselves Major Prophets. They use God’s name to mislead the weak into unholy unions and cults. You will easily identify them when you give the simple tasks stated above. The check mechanisms above are to help you seek solutions to common problems encountered by you, from friends. But what are some of these problems? Let’s examine some.
It has been said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. In theory, this statement is very correct but we will hardly find this in practice because human beings are unpredictable and complicated in nature. All these because you can hardly read people’s minds facially which at one point is highly influenced by the environment and backed by self-interest. Your eyes must be wide open and mind sensitive to some of the problems listed below that are found in friend: >always in need of assistance from you and not the other way round. >In a constant state of drunkenness and always smoking when you don’t. >Always telling lies; dishonesty, and unreliability. >having an affair with another one’s husband or wife. >laziness. >pride. >theft. >cheat >corrupt >jealousy. >Anger or hot tempered. >self-centered or greed. >unforgiving heart. >not creative These and others are some of the problems you will find in those you wish to have as friends. Knowing these, give a clear picture of those you will be dealing with as you move through this temporal journey on earth.
As every problem has a solution, below are some solutions you can consider. i) To have a friend, you must do some self-review to know whom you are else you may meet someone who has a different vision in life, and start struggling to cope with thus wasting precious time that would have been invested elsewhere. Your friends must not only be your age mates or younger ones. Having elderly people as friends will help you tap into some experiences in life as well as help equip you to face some of life’s challenges. ii) Find out why you need someone as friend or why someone wants you as a friend and try to weigh the pros and cons before involving yourself. iii) Avoid friends who are materialistic and money minded. Most of these are always out to exploit. They will do everything to achieve their aim even at your detriment. iv) Know the likes and dislikes of your friend and be ready to forgive or ask for forgiveness if you do something wrong. A mistake is nobody’s character reason why pencils have erasers. v) In as much as you will want to be happy, build trust in your friend by speaking the truth all the times even if it means ending the relation. It makes you reliable and trustworthy. vi) Focus on the positive aspects of your friend and minimize the negative ones since nobody is perfect. This will help you feel his or her value when there is a misunderstanding. vii) Prepare to be each other’s keeper not each other’s killer. Killing may not be physical but by what is said that is not favorable to a friend. Evidence The problems we experience in the world and our communities today are caused by most and if not all those encountered by friends listed here. Because of these problems people behave as follows: By-passing without greeting each other. Divorced from marriages. Planning to kill each other physically or spiritually. Inviting barrister to recover money given out as interest free loans. Not willing to look each other eyeball to eye ball. Continuous evil thoughts about each other especially in a case where one of the parties is succeeding. Premature death. Proliferation of cults and churches. All these happen because people get into friendship without knowing themselves, the other person, or come in with hidden motives. You could avoid all these if you apply what I have written here or make a special request with something pertinent in mind for an up-to-date solution. Because of the problems posed by friends, some people have decided to have their children as friends while others prefer their pets.
No human being is an island. There is no problem without a solution reason why pencils have erasers. If you chose to live without a friend, then life has in a way defeated you as you will bypass many opportunities. But if you must live without because of several sad experiences, I will suggest you go by a business partner. You need someone to share experiences as well as sad and good moments. You need comfort when life exposes the other side of its ugly face. A trusted one is needed during such turbulent moments .I am one of those trusted ones who will write an informative copy to help you seek immediate solutions to your marital, sexual, social, business, family, professional and many other relationships. You need these to improve your life and that of others. Take advantage of this to get instant self-improvement.
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